Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Good Morning Little E

Ender has slept with us for nearly 15 months in our bed-- Every parent will tell you this is not a good habit.  For the past month we have been sleeping training him to sleep in his own little bed.  He wakes up often crying and whining.  One of us would go to his room, lie beside him, comforting him til the whimpering ended and he fell asleep again.  
A couple of times I would pick him up and bring him back into our room.  He'd snuggle in the middle snoring happily probably dreaming of pushing buttons and hiding remotes.  
This morning he slept throughout the night.  Soundly in his room, I kept waking up feeling he was going to cry but he didn't.  I even got up and checked on him only to find the little bad breath might contently sleeping.  I found myself unable to sleep through the blissful silence.  I'm a poor sleeper to begin with but truth be told, I missed him because he no longer missed me.  As much as I wanted him to sleep in his own bed, my heart urned for the tossing and turning of those little arms and feet that kept me up so many times before.
I think being a parent is much about these in betweens.  Knowing you want to always be there for your child and need him to want you... yet, knowing they need to be independent to find strength and courage from within rather then from "mom & dad."  I know there will be so many more in betweens of parenting and behind my exterior of a "super manly dad," I'll be sad to let go.  But it's powerful to know your child is coming on to their own.
I do love you little man.

Life's not worth holding back