Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Good Morning Little E

Ender has slept with us for nearly 15 months in our bed-- Every parent will tell you this is not a good habit.  For the past month we have been sleeping training him to sleep in his own little bed.  He wakes up often crying and whining.  One of us would go to his room, lie beside him, comforting him til the whimpering ended and he fell asleep again.  
A couple of times I would pick him up and bring him back into our room.  He'd snuggle in the middle snoring happily probably dreaming of pushing buttons and hiding remotes.  
This morning he slept throughout the night.  Soundly in his room, I kept waking up feeling he was going to cry but he didn't.  I even got up and checked on him only to find the little bad breath might contently sleeping.  I found myself unable to sleep through the blissful silence.  I'm a poor sleeper to begin with but truth be told, I missed him because he no longer missed me.  As much as I wanted him to sleep in his own bed, my heart urned for the tossing and turning of those little arms and feet that kept me up so many times before.
I think being a parent is much about these in betweens.  Knowing you want to always be there for your child and need him to want you... yet, knowing they need to be independent to find strength and courage from within rather then from "mom & dad."  I know there will be so many more in betweens of parenting and behind my exterior of a "super manly dad," I'll be sad to let go.  But it's powerful to know your child is coming on to their own.
I do love you little man.

Life's not worth holding back 

Monday, December 02, 2013

A First

 A First for anything is always the most remembered… except when you’re turning One.  The excitement of presents, the people, all the kisses and cake – a day when singing and candles suddenly, if not magically, come alive with all the faces brimming at you.  It’s a shame that he’ll never remember the love and attention given that day; but his parents will.  A first birthday is a milestone.  No longer counting by months by but a digit; a start of many sorts.  The number One is really the first recognized value of a string of many values to come.  No one considers Zero as a beginning.  In fact, many probably consider it as an end. We have so much to value in the years to come - Everything of value to me: my friends, my family, my love and now my Number 1.  I'm a fan to all and many but Little E, you're my boy - My First.
Congrats my little man for turning 1.  It was a great party (Your parents always throw great party’s) – You’ll have many people in your life to make incredible lasting friends with.  Just remember, it’s not how much time you spend with your friends it’s what you do in those moments with them that make life worth exploring. 

Go find all your firsts, stay true to your values.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Three, Seven, Two

Sometimes it isn’t what life brings, it’s why it brings them.  When I was 34 I enjoyed/hated, loved/loathed serial dating and the excitement/loneliness it brought.  Some days I liked the freedom other days I played country singer writing the worlds saddest love songs.  As life happens, when you let it happen and least expect it, Elle pops into view.  One date, one moment - Sometimes that’s all you need.  I won’t describe the best moments in my life afterwards but know she moved in after 3 months and got preggers at 7.  In between there I lost a brother, which I look at my son now as the most beautiful gift he had a hand in divine making. 
In just over the 2 years that have past, life has charmed me for certain.  It got me thinking why life is the way it is.  Is our lives really one long film that destiny, determination and patient persistence unfold into the life you have finally been waiting for?  I‘m positive we’ll all have our moments to shine and shake the world around us to do great things.  But now I’m even more certain that choosing to live a life of giving and gratefulness while willingly to enjoy uncomfortable circumstances makes for opportunities and empowerment. 

A lot can happen in a little amount of time if you let it. 

Thursday, May 02, 2013

It's bday time again... Come out!

Peeps and hotties,

Fatherhood has it's benefits: parking in "new mother" parking spots at the mall, women opening doors for you (for once) with a smile, being pushed ahead of the line at checkout and, of course, watching this doughy kid smile as he re-discovers 100 times a day the miracle of jamming anything and everything in his mouth.  
Yup, it's good to be a dad.  But there is one thing every newly urban parent wishes to still have: The Freedom to Dance you pants off at the bars.  
So while I have certainly tightened it up a notch on the belt of responsibility, I have decided to toonie coat check the kid at the club and hope to see as many of my peeps and hotties at Everleigh (old Century Room), May 11th.  Booze, booth, and new kicks to hit the D-floor.  

So FB, twitter, fwd email, four square, blog, myspace, physical letter, pigeon... whatever.  Send out the word: Wes is taking the city back for a night!  

Luv ya' all,

Oh, Don't forget to wish Rachelle Happy Mothers day when it hits 12:00am that night!  

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Ender Ming Kit Lui - I made this

And 40 weeks later, this pops out... 

When you're kid-less, it's hard to imagine taking care of anything or one but yourself.  Especially living in Toronto where "last call" symbolized when the night really began.  Living the urban life is a freedom to over consume, over indulge, over spend and take all the time you needed to recover, heal or save back up.  While I knew I wanted to have kids, I also had this feeling, or rather, fear that I would have to give up urban-hood.  I guess a city will do that to you... the excitement, the thrills, the sensory overload that we've all become accustomed to living in vibrant urbantopia.  I really milked the life experiences city life had to offer. 

And then Ender came along.  It started off with just a simple "+" sign on a pee stick, then a black and white flimsy paper of a little peanut head and twiggly legs.  Then, I noticed the million different stroller brands that passed by me on the streets, mall and intersections.  I couldn't stop reading prego books on "how your child is doing now at week..." It wasn't about "last call" it was about "The Call" when Rachelle was ready to go to the hospital.  Ender became my City... the excitement, the thrill, the sensory overload he gives me when I just sit and gaze at him.  Living life with Ender has been a freedom of purpose, providing and worth - and it hasn't been three weeks yet.  I really am going to milk the life experience Ender has to offer. 

Ender Ming Kit Lui, 7lbs,13ozs - 11/22/12

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Thank you Shirlyn.  He's always in my thoughts.

Remember the times.................

Remember the times we shared you and I ?
Growing up as kids, endless summers gone by?
The mischief the laughter, the countless banter,
all things to remember?

Remember the times, we talked forever,
dreams of being rich, and things we lusted for?
The schemes, the plans, we shared together?
My life, your life, hand in brother?

Remember the times, you spent with me
right from childhood into puberty?
Following every step of the way,
a phone call, a text, night and day, not far away?

Remember the times, everything I had, I shared with you?
My pains, my thoughts, my plans to push us through ?
Our life`s lessons, ups and downs,
Serious..yet having time to goof around?

Remember the times, how we talked about our future?
All the things we would love to capture?
Seeming as though life was forever,
hustling to make another dollar?

Remember the times we should have called it quits?
Especially when I first took sick?
Never thinking that life could end this quick?
Taking for granted the clock that ticks?

Remember the times, through many lectures,
I quoted only “family” matters?
The memories, the stories, the life I chose to live,
some things I which I could take back to give?

Life though short, comes with many lessons,
good and bad, many blessings!
It`s not the frivolous things that survive,
But how we choose to live our lives!
remembering all the good times………

To my bro....forever to remember!!
Love Ming your bro.....

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

31 of 40 - 9 more weeks!

Waiting to become a father is both exciting and anxious in the same instance.  Exciting for obvious reasons: knowing you created life, seeing some sort of measure as a human in your child face, feeling unconditionally devoted to someone other than yourself, experiencing the love and wonder a baby can bring.  Having completed 31 of approximately 40 weeks, this building of anticipation to hold your own little miracle in the world can seem painfully timeless.  To have so much love for someone you have yet to meet only to witness as little blimps and bumps on your woman's belly is a wonder I have to remind myself to breathe.  I'm stoked to meet this little baby bok choy as we have characteristically nick-named the kid.

And then there's the anxiety of being the supreme provider and super dad with nothing short of god-like powers.  How the F*&@ do you change a diaper, should I watch the baby coming out of the cooch, if my kid misses just a bit during potty training should I reward or say "try harder?"  So many questions being a first time dad.  Having all these questions, makes me think of my dad.  How it was never the end result that made him happy but the process of doing and learning.  He has been the best dad: devoted, selfless, caring.  He has never hugged or told me he loved me but he would drive me to hockey as a kid at 6am and til this day still tailor's every new pants I buy.  My parents gave me what they could and as a kid that was "almost" always good enough.  Being an adult now, I know everything they provided was more then enough.

I really don't know what to expect when I do become a father in about 8-10 weeks but I do know that it's going to be like my first day kindergarten:  Excited to get there, anxiously waiting but determined to be the best.

Baby E, we'll see you soon.